Good Knight, Fair Princess

"What if we can't find the great hall?" asked Gwen in the castle corridor. "We couldn't last time."

But this time they located an opening in the wall--one they had not noticed before. "I bet this will take us back there," said Lance.

"You know," said Gwen suddenly, "there weren't any windows in any of those rooms, or in these hallways, either. I'd like to see some sunshine. And I'd like to see outside, so I could tell what time it is."

"True," said Lance. "It could be night by now, or even tomorrow."

"I am tired," said Gwen, yawning. "That nap we had was too short. I wish we could find a bedroom."

By this time they had reached the great hall.

"Well, the bedrooms are probably upstairs," said Lance. They looked around at the dozens of stairways on every side.

"Which one should we try?" asked Gwen. They chose one of the largest and began to climb. Ten minutes later they were still climbing.

"Shouldn't we have reached the top by now?" panted Gwen.

"It's growing!" groaned Lance. "The more we climb, the higher it gets!" The stairway seemed to have a mind of its own, adding twists and turns and landings as they went.

"We must be at the very top of the castle by now!" gasped Lance. The stairs stopped multiplying and a door appeared at the very end.

She found herself sinking into the soft feather bed, sinking down, and down. She was vaguely aware that she was sinking too far. The feather bed was swallowing her up, but she was too sleepy to care.

"Princess Gwen!" she heard a voice calling. "Princess! Wake up! 'Tis morning! Art thou alright?"

"What?" mumbled Gwen groggily. "What did you call me?"

"I beg your pardon, your highness." It was a woman's voice. "But I let thee sleep as long as I dared. Please wake up. Dost thou feel better?"

"Have I been sick?" said Gwen, rubbing her eyes. She opened them and found herself in a strange room, staring into the face of a total stranger. "Oh, thou art better then!" exclaimed the woman happily. She wore a long, plain brown gown and a cap on her head. "Thank goodness! Thee gave us such a scare last night!"

"I did?" asked Gwen, confused. "What happened?"

"Thee fainted," said the woman. "Does thy head hurt?"

"No," said Gwen, "but I don't know who you are."

"Oh, dear!" cried the woman. "Thou hast lost thy memory! I am thy servant, Emma! Dost thou not remember me?"

It's just another adventure, thought Gwen to herself. But for some reason they think I'm someone else. I'd better play along.

"Uh-yes, of course I remember you," she said, "but, um-who am I?"

"Mercy! Thou art worse than I thought! Thou art the Princess Gwenevere! Dost thou not know thy name? I'll fetch a doctor at once!"

"No, no, that's O.K.", said Gwen hastily. "I just felt funny there for a moment, but I'm all right now. Really."

"Thank goodness," said Emma. "Dost thou wish thy breakfast?"

"You bet," said Gwen. "I'm starving. Bring it on! I mean," she said quickly as Emma stared, "I-I'm terribly hungry. Please may I have some?"

"Of course, dear Princess. But how strangely thou art speaking. I hope thou wilt be up to doing thy lessons today, or thy royal father will be displeased." She handed Gwen a beautiful green velvet dress to put on.

"Lessons!" said Gwen. "What kind of lessons?" I thought princesses didn't have to do lessons, she thought. I hope it's not math.

"But-thy dancing lesson, of course," said Emma in surprise. "For the ball tomorrow night."

"Oh," said Gwen. "Sounds fun." That's not so bad, she thought.

"And then there is thy sewing lesson," said Emma, "and thy music lesson, and thy drawing lesson, and lessons in manners and behavior, and."

"O.K.," said Gwen quickly. "I get the picture!" Manners and behavior-and sewing! Yuck, she thought. I've got to get out of here. And where's Lance? What happened to him? "Uh-Emma? Do you know if there's anyone around here named Lance?"

"Prince Lancelot? He arrives tomorrow morning with his parents, for the tournament and ball. But thou hast not met him yet, surely."

I hope I have, thought Gwen. I sure hope it's the same Lance.

But since the prince, who might or might not be Lance, wasn't coming for another day, Gwen had no way of getting out of her lessons. For the rest of the day she shocked Emma by tangling her sewing threads hopelessly, playing sour notes on the mandolin, drawing stick figures for her art teacher, and accidentally stepping on the dancing-master's toes eight times. During her manners and behavior lesson, when she was supposed to walk down stairs gracefully while balancing a book on her head, she tripped over her long skirt and fell right down the stairs!

"Princess!" gasped Emma. "Art thou hurt?"

"No," said Gwen. "But let's face it, Emma. I'm just not the graceful or artistic kind. Can we just try some sports and games? I'm great at soccer and I'm a whiz at Monopoly."

But Emma merely stared at her. "Princesses do not participate in such things, your highness. Princesses must act like ladies at all times. But tomorrow you may watch the knights in their tournament."

Gwen sighed and did her best to get through the rest of the day. The green velvet dress was hot and scratchy. The castle was cold and damp, and there were rats. But when she mentioned it to Emma at dinner, Emma said only, " 'Tis always that way. Now eat thy dinner. Tomorrow night thou wilt be allowed to dine with the guest, so let us practice the art of elegant conversation together."

"Oh, joy," said Gwen grimly.

At last bedtime arrived. Gwen lay in her fancy canopied bed and wondered desperately why she had ever wanted to be a princess. Suddenly, she heard pebbles rattling against her window. She got out of bed and went to look. "Who is it?" she called.

"Shh!" said a familiar voice in a low tone. "It's me-Lance."

"Lance! At last! Where have you been? Get me out of here!

"Keep your voice down!" he hissed. "There are guards by the wall."

"How did you get here?"

"Climbed over the wall. Practically fell in the moat, too. What's going on around here? I've been stuck in another castle, with two people who keep calling me Lancelot, which I hate, and claim they're my parents. And there's some tournament I'm supposed to compete in tomorrow."

"I know. It's going to be here at this castle. And these people think I'm someone else, too. They keep calling me Gwenevere, and they say I'm a princess. And they made me have all these stupid boring lessons."

He laughed softly. "See? What did I tell you about princesses?"

"Well, can you think of a way to get me out of here?"

"Use a door. There are enough of them," he said.

"I can't. There are guards at every one. I checked," Gwen said.

"Can't you climb out the window and down the wall?" he asked.

"I could if I had my jeans on. But when I woke up in this place, I had on this nightgown. And all I have are dumb long skirts," she said.

"I know what you mean," he said. "I hate these tunics I have to wear, too-makes me feel like I'm wearing a dress. Look," he said, "maybe we just have to wait until tomorrow. I'm coming here for the tournament, I guess. Maybe we can figure something out then."

"Are you going to have to fight in the tournament?" she asked curiously. "You don't know how."

"Tell me about it. I had to pretend I fell off my horse and hit my head, and lost part of my memory. This kid who's supposed to be my squire has been showing me how, but I can't say I'm too great at it. Those long lances we have to fight with are so heavy I can't hardly lift." he broke off suddenly, looking embarrassed. "I'll be fine," he said gruffly.

Gwen laughed. "I'll bet you will. Just like I'll turn into a graceful princess. I fell down the stairs today, did I tell you?"

He laughed too, but said, "Shh! Someone will hear us. See you tomorrow. We'll get together and come up with a way to get out of here-before we both make fools of ourselves--again."

The next day, Gwen found it hard to keep a straight face when she was introduced to "Sir Lancelot". Later, she watched as he rode his horse around the ring with the other knights in the tournament's opening ceremonies. When the ceremonies were over, he joined her to watch the jousting. His own match was not scheduled until afternoon. He thought the jousting was exciting. Gwen thought it was horrible. She was shocked by all the blood and gore.

"I know what you mean," said Lance. "The books and movies never really showed what a messy business it is."

"And they're getting badly hurt, or killed," said Gwen. "It's just stupid. Why do they do it?"

"It's practice," said Lance, "for the wars."

"Shh! Come here! I have a plan," said Lance, pulling her into a room off the main hall. "Look!" he said triumphantly, and showed her a small dish of some kind of red sauce from the table.

"So? How's that going to help us get out of here?" she asked.

He dabbed red dots of sauce on his face. "Spots. As in sickness."

Gwen's eyes lit up. "Like smallpox or the plague or something!"

A few minutes later the guards at the front door were surprised to see 'Princess Gwenevere' running towards them.

"Help!" cried Gwen, "Please help me! It's Prince Lancelot! He's fallen or something! He's lying on the parlor floor! Come quickly!"

The guards rushed to where Lance lay on the floor. When they saw the spots on his face, they turned pale and backed away quickly. "Look! Spots!" cried one. "'Tis the pox!" "He's not hurt, your highness, he's sick!" cried the other. "You'd best have someone fetch a doctor!"

"Oh, yes, but I feel so strange," murmured Gwen. "I feel faint. I fainted the other day, too.oh dear, I'm so dizzy." She collapsed into the arms of one of the guards, and they both saw that she had spots on her face.

"She has the spots too!" the guards cried. They dropped her like a hot potato, and ran out of the room and through the castle shouting, "Smallpox! Plague! Run for your lives!" In the screaming and shouting that followed, no one noticed when Lance and Gwen slipped out the front door.

"That was brilliant!" said Gwen to Lance as they crossed a meadow. "But I feel kind of sticky." They found a pond and washed their faces.

"But how will we get back to Adventure Castle now?" asked Gwen. "And we didn't get any kind of clue yet, either."

"Wait!" said Lance. "I've got something in my pocket. Oh yes, it's just my invitation to the tournament. Hey! The words have changed! It was a whole long invitation before, but now it just says:

"Come in, come in
if you want to win."

Our clue, I suppose. But they never mean anything. They're useless."

"Maybe not," said Gwen wisely. "They're each part of a puzzle. When we get enough pieces, we'll be able to put them together, I hope."

"Me too!" said Lance. But his voice sounded funny, and a moment later he stumbled and almost fell. "I feel strange all of a sudden," he said.

Gwen realized that she did, too. "Do you feel really dizzy?" she asked. I do-for real this time." She felt warm, too. She reached over and felt Lance's forehead. "You're running a fever," she said, "and so am I. Lance!" she cried, looking at his face more closely. "You have spots!"

"Barbecue sauce," he mumbled.

"No! We washed that off! But you have real spots. Do I?"

He peered at her face, trying to focus his eyes. "I think so. Unless I'm just seeing spots 'cause I'm sick."

"Lance! Do you think we really caught smallpox or something while we were here? We need a doctor or something." It was getting hard to talk. She was so dizzy, everything was spinning, and she was falling, falling, falling.

She landed on the bed in the tower room of Adventure Castle, and immediately fell asleep. When she woke up, Lance was waking up in the other bed near her. They both felt fine, and the spots were gone.